Finding Your Core Values

Core Values

Ask yourself, “What really matters to me?”

It sounds like a simple question but it’s far deeper if you pause and give it the attention it really deserves. I promised in my last article about what others say about you that these exercises could be used in a secular manner because we all have values. Whether you are Christian, Muslim, or any other religion you have values that you use every single day. They guide your decisions and help you decide what matters most. Every single person has a different set of values or a different priority of them.

What is a value?

A value is a trait that you hold close. It is something you value and something you base who you are on. It is your standard of behavior and defines how you act on or react to situations.

What kind of values are there?

There are all kinds. Here is a lot. I do mean a lot.

[su_accordion][su_accordion] [su_spoiler title=”Values 1″ style=”fancy”] Abundance Acceptance Accessibility Accomplishment Accountability Accuracy Achievement Acknowledgement Activeness Adaptability Adoration Adroitness Advancement Adventure Affection Affluence Aggressiveness Agility Alertness Altruism Amazement Ambition Amusement Anticipation Appreciation Approachability Approval Art Articulacy Artistry Assertiveness Assurance Attentiveness Attractiveness Audacity Availability Awareness Awe Balance Beauty Beingthebest Belonging Benevolence Bliss Boldness Bravery Brilliance Buoyancy Calmness Camaraderie Candor Capability Care Carefulness Celebrity Certainty Challenge Change Charity Charm Chastity Cheerfulness Clarity Cleanliness Clear-mindedness Cleverness Closeness Comfort Commitment Community Compassion Competence Competition Completion Composure Concentration Confidence Conformity Congruency Connection Consciousness Conservation Consistency Contentment Continuity Contribution Control Conviction Conviviality Coolness Cooperation Cordiality Correctness Country Courage Courtesy Craftiness Creativity Credibility Cunning Curiosity Daring Decisiveness Decorum Deference Delight Dependability Depth Desire Determination Devotion Devoutness Dexterity Dignity Diligence Direction Directness Discipline Discovery Discretion Diversity Dominance Dreaming Drive Duty Dynamism Eagerness Ease Economy Ecstasy Education Effectiveness Efficiency Elation Elegance Empathy Encouragement Endurance Energy Enjoyment Entertainment Enthusiasm Environmentalism Ethics Euphoria Excellence Excitement Exhilaration Expectancy Expediency [/su_spoiler] [su_spoiler title=”Values 2″ style=”fancy”]Experience Expertise Exploration Expressiveness Extravagance Extroversion Exuberance Fairness Faith Fame Family Fascination Fashion Fearlessness Ferocity Fidelity Fierceness Financialindependence Firmness Fitness Flexibility Flow Fluency Focus Fortitude Frankness Freedom Friendliness Friendship Frugality Fun Gallantry Generosity Gentility Giving Grace Gratitude Gregariousness Growth Guidance Happiness Harmony Health Heart Helpfulness Heroism Holiness Honesty Honor Hopefulness Hospitality Humility Humor Hygiene Imagination Impact Impartiality Independence Individuality Industry Influence Ingenuity Inquisitiveness Insightfulness Inspiration Integrity Intellect Intelligence Intensity Intimacy Intrepidness Introspection Introversion Intuition Intuitiveness Inventiveness Investing Involvement Joy Judiciousness Justice Keenness Kindness Knowledge Leadership Learning Liberation Liberty Lightness Liveliness Logic Longevity Love Loyalty Majesty Makingadifference Marriage Mastery Maturity Meaning Meekness Mellowness Meticulousness Mindfulness Modesty Motivation Mysteriousness Nature Neatness Nerve Noncomformity Obedience Open-mindedness Openness Optimism Order Organization Originality Outdoors Outlandishness Outrageousness Partnership Patience Passion Peace Perceptiveness Perfection Perkiness Perseverance Persistence Persuasiveness Philanthropy Piety Playfulness Pleasantness Pleasure Poise Polish Popularity Potency Power Practicality Pragmatism Precision Preparedness Presence Pride Privacy Proactivity Professionalism[/su_spoiler] [su_spoiler title=”Values 3″ style=”fancy”]Prosperity Prudence Punctuality Purity Rationality Realism Reason Reasonableness Recognition Recreation Refinement Reflection Relaxation Reliability Relief Religiousness Reputation Resilience Resolution Resolve Resourcefulness Respect Responsibility Rest Restraint Reverence Richness Rigor Sacredness Sacrifice Sagacity Saintliness Sanguinity Satisfaction Science Security Self-control Selflessness Self-reliance Self-respect Sensitivity Sensuality Serenity Service Sexiness Sexuality Sharing Shrewdness Significance Silence Silliness Simplicity Sincerity Skillfulness Solidarity Solitude Sophistication Soundness Speed Spirit Spirituality Spontaneity Spunk Stability Status Stealth Stillness Strength Structure Success Support Supremacy Surprise Sympathy Synergy Teaching Teamwork Temperance Thankfulness Thoroughness Thoughtfulness Thrift Tidiness Timeliness Traditionalism Tranquility Transcendence Trust Trustworthiness Truth Understanding Unflappability Uniqueness Unity Usefulness Utility Valor Variety Victory Vigor Virtue Vision Vitality Vivacity Volunteering Warmheartedness Warmth Watchfulness Wealth Willfulness Willingness Winning Wisdom Wittiness Wonder Worthiness Youthfulness Zeal[/su_spoiler][/su_accordion]

Values are what you make them but we want meaningful values. In fact the goal is your top five values.

How to Find your Values

Finding your values is a journey of self-reflection and one that should be taken with the heaviest of hearts. This is extremely serious because you are looking at the most basic part of you. This isn’t the what you do after you think about it for five days values. These are the things that you know instinctively to matter to you. The bible cautions us in Proverbs 10:9 to walk in integrity. So too should your search for your core values be done in integrity because this honesty will give you truth of self.

My recommendation and the exercise I have done in the past is to write down a list of 15-20 values you feel are what means the most to you. Then go somewhere alone, a place where you have quiet and peace. Reflect, pray if you pray, guidance from God will come. Scratch off a few that really aren’t that important in the sense that others take precedence. Just keep pairing it down until you have 10. Then leave it be. That is to say live your life for the next two weeks emulating these 10 values. Which are you making use of the most? Those should be your top five values.

If you haven’t discovered those 5 after two weeks then again go off to someplace you can focus and center yourself and repeat the process.

It is important to point out that values can change over time and so this is not a one time exercise but a lifetime commitment to being better. Christ gave us an amazing image of what we should be. For the Christian man we should be trying to be like Him. For the non-Christian I want to invite you to take a step, ask God what is it you can do for him. He has already done everything for us by giving his son. When you take a step, even a small one towards God it can be a leap that you never thought would happen.

Live your life by the things that matter most not the things that we get hung up on that are not God-centered.

Who Do Men Say That I Am?

Who Do Men Say That I Am?

Often times I am arrogant in the sense that I don’t care what people think of me. It can be a good and a bad thing to have that outlook. Jesus once asked his disciples [Mark 8:27-29] “Who do men say that I am?” and they answered him in several ways. He then asked them, “But who do you say that I am?” Peter was the only disciple to answer him, “You are the Christ.

I should be better at being like Him. We as men all should. We are looked up to in our families and expected to be many things. This is not to short change our better half because they have the same expectations but this site is focused on the Christian man and his struggles. Who do people say that you are when you aren’t around? Does that thought not enter your mind?

It should, but it should not preoccupy it. We have one chance to make the greatest impact we can before we are taken home. Making decisions can be hard because of the “what-ifs” which are doubts that we have. They manifest themselves in all sorts of ways but we are going to cover some things we can do, and go over some tools we have and do not even realize it, that can help us combat these doubts.

To help break this down I want to do it in a series because this is going deep my friends. I want to touch on things that are personal to me, personal to you and personal to who men think you are. One of the beautiful things about humanity is our diversity thanks to the freedom of choice that God has given us. That means that there are certain values we hold close to us that are different from each other. We find friends who hold similar values but are usually not exact in the importance or order of those values. That is completely acceptable and we should celebrate our friends diversity from our own. What are your core values?

Core Values

What things do you consider the most important parts of who you are? What do you value the highest? In a way this will be a secular activity because we are going to assume that your faith is secured and that it has the highest value. I want to examine what you value outside of God. Is it family? Is it goodwill? Loyalty? Trust? God gives us the capacity to value all of these things but which ones matter most?

Pray on this and prepare yourself because we will go off the diving board in the next article. Let’s swim deep and then challenge ourselves and swim deeper. Rip off the mask and open yourself to God, to yourself, to your faith and let God show you the things you value most. Then we can defend ourselves against the enemy and the doubt he causes.

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